1Year On.

Wow. Has it really been over a year since I last posted? Time just runs away.

I’m back 😝 although, I’m not in the frame of mind to continue where I left off just yet. Discussing prison takes me back to such a dark place, I’m not yet ready to continue to talk about it…These blogs intitially started for people to get to know the ‘real’ story, rather than reading the newspapers, or listening to hearsay. I wanted to give you my version of events so ultimately you could make your own decision about my journey…then I got into so much detail about it all, I got carried away and felt like I was just reliving prison life,writing what happened daily so I took a step back, I may continue writing about these days…. when I’m ready… and that’s not just yet.

I’m never offended when people won’t entertain looking/engaging with me because they ‘think’ they know me, or because Susan down the road has filled them in on what an awful person I am… I just embrace it. After all I’ve dealt with a lot scarier people in my time 👀👀

The response I’ve had from these blogs.. ( to my face) has been heart warming. I appreciate everyone who’s taking the time to read what I have to say. It really does mean a lot.

Today I wanted to address some things that are bothering me…

I’ve seen on the news just recently a young lad took his own life, a child, not even the legal age to gamble, taken his own life due to his addiction… one hour after he last gambled, after his addiction consumed him, not in his right state of mind, he ended his life 😢 and I remember that all too well, when the day came when I thought my addiction consumed me, the day I thought ending my life was the answer.

This addiction is so present in society today, so why is it so swept under the carpet? Why was this young lad able to even gamble ? I guess you could say the same about underage drinking and drug taking…but for me I believe underage gambling can be stopped. ID people buying scratchcards, ID those using the slot machines, I really think it could be squished! In my opinion, underage drinking/drug taking, may not be as easy to stop, but gambling??? Children gambling? This CAN be stopped, and I believe the media overall play a big part in encouraging this.

Have you noticed the sponsor for ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here’ … TOMBOLA.. I mean, this show has reached its biggest viewing audience since 2013  ( and I’m sure the overall audience isn’t over the age of 18) so why are they being sponsored by an organisation aimed at adults? Furthermore they are promoting such an addictive habit… WHY? Why would ITV want their audience, which is so hugely aimed at such a wide range of ages to gamble???

Great fit? Pfft. Whatevs Phil!

How often do you see alcohol or cigarettes promoting a show? You don’t. So why should a gambling site be promoting this show? It really gets to me. How many people do you now think have logged on to tombola thanks to ITV? remember it’s just that first deadly £10 that can have an impact on your life, it doesn’t take long to become addicted…. trust me!! And what about those recovering? I don’t want to see a TOMBOLA plastered across my screen when I’m still ‘overcoming’ my own addiction. I’m really disappointed in ITV….

Well that’s what I wanted to rant about , thought I’d use my blog to do so. It’s a good place for me to come and let off steam about gambling, it’s such a taboo subject around me, I don’t always feel I can discuss these issues with family or friends, they go into panic mode and wonder weather in gambling. But it’s ok. I’m ok 🙂 still plodding on with daily life, facing my demons and recovering the best way I can.

Am I recovered yet? No.

Are there days where I feel I could fail? Yes.

Is there enough help and support around me? No.

What do you do when you feel you may relapse? Come back here and read my story and remind myself how far I’ve come, and that, it’s going to be ok.

Im ok..

But please remember – Gamble responsibly….

if you can’t?

If it’s no longer enjoyable?

There are places you can go to for help…. if your reading this and you need some help, contact me, I’ll try my hardest to help or –

alternatively –



Thank you for taking the time to read today ❤️


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