I guess it’s been over 6 months since my last read, and I thought maybe now it was time to write again…
Sorry for my absence. But reliving my past, putting every emotion down into words, opening up to the public, kind of took it out of me…. and I wanted a little break!
Don’t get me wrong the feedback I received from everyone was so fantastic, so positive and I’m glad I helped a lot of people understand ME a little more. My blogs, so far have been read by over 20 thousand people, from all walks of life all around the world, and for that i am forever grateful…
Who would of thought little Jodie from lowestoft blogs would of been rather popular?! But of course there’s always the negatives, not that personally I’ve had any to my face, but I’m sure there are a few. It’s always hard for me to write about this, having to take myself back to certain awful times in my life is really difficult, and it takes me a while to get it all down in words…. but this blog, in itself has been therapy for me!!
I’ll stop waffling now and get to the bits you all really want to read….
I guess your wondering ‘WHAT WAS PRISON LIKE?!’ Well here you are…
The next stage in my journey…
My prison life… Day 2.
My door was now officially open. Ive been here before so I guess I should of got some kind of bearings, but I didn’t. All walks of life walking past your widely open door, having a good ole nose at ‘the new resident’ ( because god forbid you call us prisoners 🙄🙄 ) The odd person popping in, who already knew you was new on the block and wanted to try their luck in asking you for your bag of sugar or your teabags, either because they were being weaned of the drugs and needed it much more than you did, or generally because they knew you was probably too scared to say no.
‘just take them don’t hurt me’ It took me a good 15 mins before I moved off my chair to wonder what it was I needed to do? As I approached my door, I look….
And my expectations of the women the other side of my door, changed. Of course don’t get me wrong, there’s a few… erm, scary ones…(there’s even ones that shout all hours in the night that isis is coming and we’re all gonna die ) but amongst the odd weirdo, there all pretty normal, just like you and me… and there’s a rare few, who are also pretty amazing… !
*I know I know, roll your eyes, but in all honesty it’s true, not everyone is behind bars because they committed a crime, some ( only some) are generally in there for the wrong reasons *you’ll learn more about that in my blogs to come.…
I creep up to my door and poke my head around, one of the officers is heading towards me so I back in… he asks me if I’m going to work???
Work? HEH?! Then he realises I’m a ‘ new kid on the block‘ told me to sit tight and that after ‘mass movement’ he would come and see me….
Mass movement??!? WHAT??!?
I Did as I was told and climed back into bed. A hour later the officer unlocks my door.
‘Hi Jodie, I’m Ashley, we’re moving you to D2…. a non smoking wing, you’ll be sharing a cell with another woman, she’s pregnant…pack up your stuff we’re leaving in 5’. I pleaded to stay, (although I had only been on this wing 5 minutes) the thought of moving somewhere else unknown scared me even more and the thought of having to share a cell was even more worrying…. but unfortunately, unless you want to be thrown in Seg , you best do as your told. So I didn’t have a choice In the matter, and before I knew it my belongings were in a massive clear plastic bag and I was being ushered out of my room by ‘Ashley‘was so nervous to be moving already, and even more nervous to have to share a room… like who was she gonna be? Mad? Normal? Murderer? Pedophile?? How do I get changed ? Go to the toilet? Argh the new possibilities were endless…AND AND AND How would I know what this unknown person has done? I was shitting A brick.
I walked in
Anastasia, this is Jodie’
‘Jodie, this is Anastasia’
I managed a fake smile, she told me I had top bunk as she was pregnant and then started to move all her belongings to make room for mine… she didn’t seem to happy that she was about to share a room with me, she was pretty blunt with me.
I dumped my things, climbed up into my top bunk, curled into a ball and cried….
Must of looked like a right tit.
Anastasia came over to my bunk.
‘Are you alright love?’ Said a soft and caring voice. ‘How long you been here’ I turned and dried my eyes, told her my life story, without even knowing her, told her everything… and most of all I told her how much I was hurting because all I wanted to do was speak to my babies and I couldn’t, I missed them so so much, it was hurting. I might deserve being in this cell, away from the world, but they didn’t deserve to be away from their mummy.
She explained the process to me, calmed me down, made me feel ( for the first time ) a little calmer.
I can’t believe I had just opened up to another complete prison stranger… ahhhh my head was such a mess. She told me she was now off to some spiritual group so I would have the cell to myself, told me to help myself to anything of hers I wanted ( crisps, hot chocolate etc ) and we’d chat when she was back. I didn’t feel like eating, I hadn’t ate in a couple of days now but the feeling of being away from my children was enough to put anyone off food.
While Anastasia was out I sorted my stuff out, attempted to scatter my photos of my beautiful mini humans around the room and set up camp for the next 3 months. Even started to write a diary. When I read that back now, reading how I felt, how hurt I was to be away from my family, really helps me never want to gamble again.
Anastasia comes back, laughs at my attempts of putting my photos on the ‘photo wall’ and gives me the heads up – toothpaste. TOOTHPASTE is a prison glue, so if you want anything stuck to the wall, give it a little bit of Colgate and you’ve got yourself some minty fresh glue…. dont go all dragons den on it though, probably lasts 5 days max before it starts to flake and make an awful mess!! But for at least 5 days your photos are secure. I’d already wrote 5 letters, yet had no means of sending them, so again my little angel in disguise Anastasia gave me some of her stamps. Not only did she give me some stamps, she taught me how to ‘recycle stamps’ 😂 who’d of thought, a bleach tablet and water is all it takes!!!
How to recycle stamps – prison style.Peel your stamp off your letter
- Pop it into a little bowl of warm water with a little bleach tablet
- Leave it for around 24 hours – the stamped ink will disappear
- Allow the stamp to dry
- Apply some Colgate and TADAAA
- Your stamp is recycled !!
We always found that the gold ones recycled a lot easier than the red ones! And the purple ones were the bee all and end all of stamp recycling !!
Pretty sure it’s illegal though so DONT TRY THIS AT HOME
So here I was, day 2, I’d known Anastasia for less than 24 hours, yet I knew I had s friend for life. Shed already taught me so much, in life and in prison in such a short space of time, and I had another 3 months to spend with her. To me she wasn’t a criminal, and her ‘offence’ had no threat towards me, in my eyes, and so many eyes, she was wrongly found…I’ll touch on this with her permission in future blogs.
So day 2 done. My time had only just begun and I really hadn’t seen anything yet… not from what I next witnessed!!!