Preparing for the worst

*Gulp*

My heart was in my mouth, nicky and the kids were the other side of the door.

“I guess you probably know what this is about Jodie, we need you to come down to the station to be interviewed”

I tried to say I would meet them there, like I had before, but this time they didn’t want to entertain it. They came inside, delivered the news to nicky and swiftly carted me off in an unmarked car, to Great Yarmouth investigation centre. 

I won’t bore you with the ins and outs of what happened in my interview room, pretty much the same as before, me admitting everything…. officers feeling sorry for me, but in reality… it’s all my own bloody stupid fault! 

At this point no one had been refunded as  I acted liked a coward and blocked all the numbers of the buyers. DC Grimble advised me, if I could, to pay all the victims back…. of which, my poor dad did…. again.

I hope it doesn’t feel like I’m rushing this blog too much, but to be honest it’s not much different to the previous times… so I decided to run through this part quickly so I can start writing the more interesting parts.

Anyway I now awaited a court date where my future would unravel, in the hands of that same judge who had me on his RESERVE list.

I had another BIG secret hanging over my head…when do I tell people? Who do I tell? How do I tell them

Id made some new friends, and pretty amazing they were! We’d met at a mutual friends hen do the previous year, and i knew I’d made some friends for life. One of which was an old friend, whom had turned against me and disliked me through what I had continued to do since leaving Barclays, where I worked there with her but these girls soon became my close network and ones of which I now trusted to tell my secrets too.


It was NYE when I broke the news to some of these girls, I’d had a drink, and it all came spilling out… and I am so glad it did, they were great about it, they understood my addiction and that I wasn’t a bad person! They were there for me whenever I needed to talk, they knew my upcoming court cases were around the corner and that I needed them more than ever.

I kept strong, I mean, I had too! I still had two amazing little humans depending on me! I would look at their little faces each day and wonder how I was able to do this to them! They deserved so much more than what I was giving. Was this finally going to be it?

 Right now the thought of prison was the last thing I wanted, but in my gut I know it’s what I needed! I knew I was going, I’d dealt with that, but for how long

My solicitors were telling me I was looking at two years…. TWO years! How do you ever begin to explain to your children, that mummy won’t be around for that length of time?? Mummy won’t be around to take you to school?? Tuck you in bed?? Kiss your knee better when you fall over?? How do you ever comprehend bringing up these subjects for a 3 and 4 year old! 

Do I prepare them? What should I have done? What should I have said? 

Instead, I wrote letters, one for Preston, one for Pixie and one for Nicky.

Nicky’s was more like a timetable… he worked away and I was left to parent a lot on my own, although he knew the kids routine and how to look after them… he didn’t know what time they went to school, how to turn the oven on or how to tie Pixies hair up.

I wrote it all down.


The letters to the children were a little different, and I’d asked Nicky to read them to the children, when he felt the time was right. 

We had decided (because we were unaware of time scales) to tell the children mummy was going away to work. Their dad worked offshore, so they were used to one parent being absent for a few weeks at a time. They didn’t seem to mind, maybe it’s because I knew it wasn’t going to be a 3 weeks stint like daddy does, that I just couldn’t understand why they weren’t upset??

Because I know I was dying inside.

I’d contemplated keeping them off school the morning before court, but decided to keep to normality as much as I could, so I took them to school, for the last time, in a while. 


Crying as I held them so tight and gave them the biggest kisses ever, telling them how much I loved them and I would see them really really soon…. again, they didn’t seem to care I was leaving to ‘work‘ and they ran off into school – I’ll remember those moments forever, because those moments got me through tough times in the future! 

I went home and arranged the house ready for my disappearance, gave it a good clean, showed Nicky extra things within the house and packed my bag.

I’d googled what I could take in prison so I made sure I had everything I needed. 

Phone numbers and addresses of those I cared about, and hundreds of photos of my beautiful little babies! 

And I was ready.

Well I wasn’t ready, but well, you know.

I’d gone for a little walk with nicky and our dog around the block. It was silent as we walked… we got back to our house and my dad was there Waiting to take me to court. I was due in court at 2pm, so we left around 11:30 to make it to Ipswich crown court in time. 

I gave the love of my life the biggest cuddle I could manage, tears streaming down my face. I didn’t look back at him as I walked down the path to my dads van. My dad looked at me ‘just drive, please just drive‘ he knew I wasn’t ready to talk just yet…. and he drove. 

*Beep beep*

Whatever happens, remember we love you. I love you.

Nicky


I’d made a group what’s app message named ‘outcome‘ for my dad to send a message in to all those close to me with what happened in court. I talked him through how to get on to the app, and explained what to write. I told him to turn my phone off as soon as he delivered the message to them and keep hold of it until I returned home.


We were now in the court house. It felt like we had been there forever, when finally…

“JODIE GAYET to court room 2”

“JODIE GAYET to court room 2”

I quickly sent a message to Nicky telling him I was then going in, that I loved him and loved the kids so very very much.

I txt, the ‘outcome‘ group, told them I was then going in, and handed my phone over to my dad. 

GOOD LUCK JODIE 

And again I made that dreaded walk into ‘the stand‘ where my fate was sealed, and my sentence was announced.

12 months custodial sentence 

I felt numb, I was always prepared to be going to prison…. but 12 months! 12 months!!!! That’s one whole year! One whole year I would be away from my babies…

And there I was… handcuffed and walking down the back stairs of the court room. I wasn’t even crying, I was still in shock. 

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